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Stolen Car

By Paul Lyons

2/9/2008 8:55:01 AM | Number of Comments: 0 | Add Comments +

There is nothing so strange as questioning your sanity. The things in life that are most alarming are when you find things out of their place. And so was the day of Friday, February 9, 2008. Same nagging alarm clock. Same race out the door. Same eggs on the house. When you realize that your car is not where you had parked it the night before.

It is but a small docile thing. Never can do more than seventy, maybe downhill. These thieves have no imagination! A better car would be one that can actually gain momentum.

To the Car Thieves
So, as long as you have the wreck. The glove box has a bit of damage. You know raising kids and carting them off to school every day tends to wear on a car. A few too many soccer cleats in the glove box, or a pissed of 6 year old can do some real damage. Also, the dash is way past its prime. The golden California sun has been pounding on it for 17 years. A crack here. A crack there. Remember, the car was made before cup-holders so there has to be about a gallon of coffee and a pint of half-and-half under that plastic dash. Actually for a year or so the car was but a house for mice. Way in the hills of Sonoma it sat as its owners were nowhere in site. The mice had a great time pooping and peeing in the air ducts and heater box, so you may want to roll down the windows from time-to-time. Just a simple public health suggestion.

Change the oil. The back windshield wiper should be changed. And while you’re at it, get some new floor mats… at least for the front. And I want the real ones from the dealer, not the crappy ones from Grand Auto. Let’s pimp this ride for when you have to return the beast.

One more thing. The gas gauge sometimes gives out. So you may at some point get stranded. Don’t put a gas can full of petrol in the back. Just make sure you fill the gas tank regularly. Best wishes and take care of her. New oil every 4,000 miles but hopefully she’ll be back home way before then.

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